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Not to mention embarrassing my husband and causing him to become angry and frustrated with little or no recourse. B is a kind, warm, loving man, who always puts me second only to God.

He finds a way to get me everything I want and need even if it seems out of reach. He drives a less expensive car so my children and I can drive around in a nice, new SUV because he says he worries less about us when he knows the car is safe and won't break down.

I felt really bad, like I had let him down, but I wasn't really sure how. He called from the car just minutes after leaving and told me I was to be in our room, pants off, when he came home. The pit of my stomach dropped when he said, "you know your doctor said not to walk anywhere without your boot-cast on your leg unless you were on crutches, you could have broken that fractured bone". I have fractured that same bone .) I quickly put my boot-cast on and busied myself in tidying up the house, and then I took a shower.

I know how to push his buttons and have done/said things that would send most men 'over the edge' yet he remains calm and steadfast in his love and devotion. It brought back a long forgotten memory of a good whack on the bottom I received just two months into our marriage for acting like a "brat". I was young & hot tempered; I called my Mom and left.

We had a lot of growing up to do, and began growing apart.

When the kids were born I became a stay at home 'super-mom'. Even though I loved my privilege to keep my kids home, my husband's 'you sit at home all day' attitude left me feeling devalued. morning Bible classes at our Church, teaching Sunday School and VBS (and basically surrounding myself in the Word) I started understanding that I wasn't the 'glue' that held us together after all, but rather the fire that weakened the glue.

Then I told him, "I think that this lifestyle may work for us", and at that time gave him "blanket consent". I was very passive about it, knowing that he had been burned by my younger, less-wise self.

I decided not to say anymore to him about the matter and for the next few weeks I demonstrated a very submissive spirit.

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